Pray and Reset

Updated: Jun 19

Many question‘s prayer, but only because they have not mastered patience.

Right before my laptop fell off of my mother's vehicle and on to the street breaking in half, many weeks I prayed for a blessing for it could help me further my creativity. The google chrome laptop I had since 2019 began giving me problems since about a year ago by going super slow and blacking out while I'm working. There would be times I would be in the middle of a client's reading recording and the laptop would cut off leaving me having to begin my recording over again. Highly frustrating, but nothing would get me in a bad mood to where I would have to cut the laptop on and off because it would freeze while I am in the middle of writings and other work, daily. I knew that it was time I let go of the laptop, but no time was ever right for me. With being a small entrepreneur and not being able to have much financial freedom due to my responsibilities and medicines I always had to buy I couldn't afford a new laptop. So, because I knew that if I wanted to bring something into fruition, I needed to pray hard about and for it. Knowing that nothing comes when you want it to, I had to gain patience and become a master with that powerful tool. I never was the patient type but understanding that just if I were to get what I want when I wanted it there would be no use for it. I simply wouldn't be ready to handle what I want therefor I am patient and do my best to put no rush on what is meant for me along my journey.

I was without a laptop for two weeks going on three. It was quite boring because I used my laptop for everything like watching movies and listening to music as well as work. Not knowing where my blessing would come from or when I kept my faith and allowed myself to rest up. Rarely did I get much rest though those days without a laptop I begun doing other things to keep me busy and very much did I have peace. That is what's needed at times, and we only miss what we need to feed our bodies and spirit. If it hadn't been for the loss of my laptop i would have never gotten the chance to catch up on rest and see what else could use my time and attention. We can spend so much time on things that are absolutely quite draining like work because we may get worried thinking of money or others when they can't even reciprocate. I am learning day to day to feed the soul with what it is asking even if the messages may seem blurry. I remember telling my mother I will not stress or cry because I asked for this. I asked to gain freedom and peace while still being able to make money and handle my business. I asked to not get anxiety from my work when it's only me and I sometimes have deadlines for myself. I needed a break all together and never knew until my laptop broke that day in May.

Things happens when you least expect it to happen, seriously. When my laptop fell, I was in complete shock, yet I knew that if i was to worry i wasn't allowing what I prayed for make its way to come. Now, just because a burden is uplifted does not mean what you are waiting for will drop in your lap the same day, but when you least expect it, too. There comes a time when you must enjoy the little things in life once again. Like myself once that burden was taken away from me, I was able to get back into my mini garden and make a lot of changes. If I had just been sitting around not being productive waiting for something to fall in my lap, I would have caused a delay and had not been able to enjoy nature and tend to my health needs. We all need to remember that self-care is important and without it we can fall into depression looking at ourselves with disgust. Seeing no joy in what actually is very joyous. We lose our vision.

Out of nowhere one day I was asked how much the laptop is you are looking at. Prior to that I was in my head wondering where I would get a nice affordable laptop and one that can do better than what I had before. I had been looking on all sorts of websites like best-buy, Walmart, amazon and quickly begin to manifest the laptop I saw that looked nice and had great reviews. I remember thinking to myself "now how will I pay for this laptop" when I just paid bills and all of what I saved went to bills too. I was very much contemplating things at that moment like "I guess I don't need this one" but in reality, my eyes couldn't leave that laptop's site page. When I was asked about the price, I still did not think that I was about to be blessed by someone else because it rare I receive much from others. So, when they heard the price, they said "okay, let's go I will get it for you because I see you miss working" and indeed I did. I was emotional and couldn't do anything but thank this person and my Gods for keeping me busy and focused on what's more important, living. I got my new snowflake HP laptop the following day because I had to order it in instead due to it being out of stock at best-buy. Thankful I am and grateful. I was patient and didn't let the absence of a laptop take me into a depression or forget who i am and all the other things i find passion in.

I guess what I am trying to say is... you may not get what you are praying for when you think it's the right time, but for sure your blessings come when the time is right. So, pray for what you are needing in your life and what would not come in the way of you enjoying what life offers for free. Pray and lay it to rest for you shall receive what you will not see coming. Do not worry and train the mind to not undergo stress... you must know that prayer is powerful and with faith you can progress and multiply.

.... Jakala Breon