Love is not enough and sex won’t keep me. Neither materialistic things will keep me with someone who doesn’t respect me.
As a young growing woman I know what I need and deserve in a relationship. Time ago I didn’t really understand “love” and what all is between those four letter words, so I rarely accepted it or accepted what I thought love was. I use to push away my emotions so there’s no connection and detach physically so I or no one clings to me. I remember my ex guy friend showing me that he "loved" me indeed and that he’s more invested in me completely, but I couldn’t allow myself to feel the same way. Even though I loved him I didn’t want to be in love and to make love because I never felt it before and was quite in fear of trying. So, I pushed him away by asking for space too many times not realizing how it was hurting him and the lack of my communication made it no better. Now I find myself in the same shoes he was in trying to get my attention and all of me that could stabilize and build a relationship. The way i was with him very cold and nonchalant someone has been with me too. Karma I suppose. I expressed my feelings, but they shoved it to the ground and disrespected my every wish. I had to repeat myself over and over again telling that person I need more than an “I love you,” I need a mental, emotional, physical and social connection too. He failed to pursue even with seeing me tear up opening myself up to him about what I need. Well that didn’t seem to make even one tiny difference and so I realized it’s karma and this is my chance to now better myself, to not let fear runaway the love I’ve prayed for, and to break the chains of self satisfaction. I need love. I need me.
When in a relationship the two becomes a union and there must be boundaries to intentions and respect. When a relationship is no longer vibrating at a high frequency and by that I mean growing; one of the other is lacking the will to keep the balance which forms unhappiness and issues. I have experienced that as well and it is sad seeing the person you once told everything to be the one who you can’t talk to at all anymore. It sucks seeing the one you loved wholeheartly be the one who shows you no mind or attention. When there’s lack of communication the relationship lacks every other part of the relationship. Like sex, if the relationship is lacking a mental, emotional and social bond there is no way the sex will be passionate and to someone it’s just sex they are wanting, but the other is craving real physical intimacy that’s not present anymore. When a relationship is hitting their bad bone the sex may stand, but that doesn’t mean it’s enough to keep things afloat or it doesn’t mean that one person is letting go of not being adored and treated as such. It won’t be too long before there is no sex and then there goes the relationship.
What is very important in a relationship is communicating and listening to one another which is by words and or body language too. Once a partner tells you what they don’t like, do like, their needs and wants or the changes that must be made for the better is a duty to maintain for now the relationship can bloom once again. If you’re with someone who fails to listen to your desires and needs you may need to start thinking about yourself and it’s okay to think that way because following will be your actions to where you are now doing what’s best for you.
Therefore, an "I love you" and sex is not enough. We have needs as a woman / man and when we see that they are not being met we will walk with our feet and have faith that one day someone will give it all. I am craving real intimacy and I’m not talking sexually but physically, socially, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Spiritually I need someone who understands me completely and who will take spiritual baths as a way to bring us closer, cleanse and to be able to express our love to what needs healing and direction. Lack of accountability may take away trust and not being able to trust your partner is all that it is ... the relationship is over but hanging on by force or fear of being alone because of attachment.
Botton line my sweethearts - each person need to show up for their partner and reassurance plays a big role in that. Many may feel that a person needing reassurance is super clingy or whatever, but truth be told it can fill up one’s cup and overflow with endless love and support. Having a supporting partner can indeed keep a relationship on good terms and why?, because they are listening and paying attention to one another needs and desires.
Understand that loving someone is a treasure, a pleasure, but when not loved correctly with kindness, care and reassurance there will be no happiness and we all should be happy with whoever and wherever. We are now in the time where many are not taking the bullsh*t, but you have many who will stay beside their person because they belief things can make change for the better if they just wait a litttle longer. I am that someone, but there also comes a cold time when waiting that I realize I could be putting my time and attention into something much more passionate. It's when I realize I can be committed to something or someone else such as myself and make self a priority. So whoever you are in which position ... consider the other person always and don't give up on making yourself happy too.