It has taken me a very long time to see light in everything around me, the delays and myself.
You know life can be warming, so beautiful and so prospering. It can also be scary with fear of moving forward and taking a leap. Within all through the good and bad, life is abundant and i am grateful. You should be too.
I remember having so many goals for myself many years ago as a young teenager... I'm talking having my life planned out completely. From my home, family, career and vacations. I was sure my life was going to turn out just as so as i planned. But life did not happen for me the way i planned instead it took me in a different direction that i never would've imagined. From my health beginning to take a toll on me back in 2018 to my personal relationships and career. I was unsure of where i was headed next thinking to myself what could i do to steer me in the direction that i have planned for me and my life.
Giving up so was heavy on my mind because i had no clue what was coming next in my life that would benefit me. Looking back i have come a long way from beginning my website with no clue what to do in late 2019, starting my first podcast and servicing tarot readings. But did i stop dreaming of my plans? Absolutely not. I knew i wanted this and i wanted that, but how can i get there? See it never came to mind that sometimes things do not and will not happen as planned and that is okay. But you can indeed get to where you're wanted to go if you just continue to push yourself forward and take that leap. Looking back when i first begun on my small entrepreneur journey i would have never thought i would be doing anything that i am doing today. Like the making of herbal tea. Who would have thought? Not I! Now, it dawns upon me that when we plan, we never have it all planned out, we just hit on the nose with things and try to set them up in our lives not trying to understand that through the plans we make there will always be the in between. I like to say challenges and are hidden agendas. It's those hidden agendas that set us up on our throne.
It's crazy when we don't realize anything until its already done and you're facing away from that mountain. It is because we truly don't suppose. See life is full of surprises and when there are surprises there lies the unexpected. The unexpected is beautiful. It's when you don't even see it coming because you allowed self to flow through life without the making of scenarios that could only bring unhappiness and disappointment. When you create a scenario and your expectations are high, you are leaning yourself to fall towards madness in which joy doesn't live and you do not see the joy because you are not satisfied with what life has offered.
If it wasn't for psalms 30 "Joy comes with the morning" i would not see the joy in today, in my environment, in my work, in myself and in nature. My life begun to become so dull awhile back it looked as if everything was in black and white. That is because i was setting my expectations too high and planning way too far ahead not accepting where i am and knowing that i could only continue to climb the ladder as the days pass. I had to keep in mind that yes, time is time, and we sometimes feel as if we are running out of time, but we do not operate the same as the time we have only been programmed to know. We are beings living on our own time and when we come to realize that and come to the fact that we are moving with the earth not with time it will open up greater opportunity and bring forth joy.
See joy comes from everything. It is the coating to every possible living thing within nature. If we just let go and let our mind, body and spirit flow we will see the joy our God has placed before us. It is when we try to be in control of so much more than ourselves that we do not see the joy and are unsatisfied because nothing is prospering according to our plan. Sometimes when we plan, we are trying to control what has no control. You see we have to flow and let go.
Now I spend my days quite simple. I live a simple life and I don't want to add much to it but a few acres that I know will happen when flowing through this life, letting go of wanting to control life and continuing to be my authentic self-doing what I love. I awake every morning now for the last month at 6-7am heading outdoors to my garden. My garden saved me from thinking so much and creating several unreal scenarios where i couldn't see the joy anymore. Walking outdoors to beautiful bright colors, okra growing on my plants and the very few pollinators every early morning bring a smile to my face. What's crazy is that gardening opened up a passion of mines i let slip away which was photography. When i was younger i was very much into photography and wanted to purse it, but i did not have the tools to capture the beauty of nature though now i do. Now in today i am able. See, we may not know what will happen in between of where we are and where we want to be, but those hidden agendas will come in and that is what will bring back the joy for you will be able to have more faith, live a more accepting life and gain more interest in the unknown to open a whole new path away from the plan in which you all along forced. Those hidden agendas are the secret to where you are destined to be. You had no clue you needed them and that is what makes your journey a sacred one. That is what walks you closer to your purpose. It is what has the most peace. The only challenge is no challenge at all.
We are living to walk with nature until we are called to soar with the eagles. So, enjoy life and know that is okay to not have a plan for your whole existence because truth is we do not know how long we are meant to be physically here on this earth where we stand today. That is why living is all that matters and to keep the joy no matter the settings or environment you're' in.